Homeschooling Between The Sweet Spots
When you find yourself in seasons that make this journey a little extra hard.
When it’s clunky and imperfect and not at all like the beautifully curated photos filling your Pinterest feed. When babies are fussy and toddlers are demanding and your oldest needs more guidance than you can feasibly offer.
When you’re doing the tightrope act of “motherhood and” (you fill in the blank) and you find yourself getting frustrated with your children for having the audacity to ask for more attention when you have so many tasks to tend to.
When you are being pulled at from a million different directions and the sound of your child saying “mommy” no longer brings sweet pause but jaw-clenching irritation.
When you are sick or pregnant or battling fifty other symptoms that might otherwise land you on the couch or the bed all day, but there is curriculum to get through and laundry to fold and groceries to order, so you battle through. Or when all of those things are still true but you give into the throbbing headache or morning sickness and leave the laundry in an ever growing pile and put off teaching multiplication for another day.
When you are homeschooling between the sweet spots, doing your best to stay afloat or keep it between the ditches, I hope you know you are not alone.
When “these days” don’t feel like the days you were promised when you embarked on this path and the idea of enrolling your kids in public school starts to become a daydream you can’t stop fantasizing about.
When you find yourself weary, unqualified, ill-equipped, and wrung dry, in the middle of a story where there’s no guarantee of a happy ending. Where you cannot really be assured your children will be better off after having made these years of sacrifices you did voluntarily.
When you realize how quickly the “extras” add up, but don’t want to deprive your child of another opportunity to be with his peers or try something new.
When you are certain you are screwing up your kids because you chose the wrong curriculum or they talk about missing their friends or longing for more friends and you toss and turn over whether or not you are doing the right thing.
When you don’t feel like you quite fit in with the homeschooling crowd but the public school crowd feels ill-fitting as well, and you begin to wonder if a place for someone like you actually exists. When you fear your desire to both protect and prepare your children for the world will forever be misunderstood.
When you are homeschooling between the sweet spots, doing your best to stay afloat or keep it between the ditches, I hope you know you are not alone.
You are not failing your child. You are not giving up too much. But also, you’re not a bad mom for putting your kids back in public school or going back to work or taking time off for a season. I have felt every single one of these statements over the past two years — I have wrestled and given thanks, grieved and celebrated, found resolve and questioned endlessly, and I have desperately needed these words in my own life.
Anytime another mom has given me permission to take the pressure off, to take as many breaks as I might need, to do what works until it doesn’t anymore and know that it’s ok, I have found myself exhaling like I’ve been holding in a breath for far too long. And I want to say the same to you.
It’s okay. We’re okay. We’ll find our sweet spot again. And if we don’t, we’ll make the necessary adjustments to find what path brings us back.