The year began with a decidedly new tradition I started last year called “31 Slow”. Birthed from a deep-seated desire to return to things that are good + nourishing, one of the “negatives” I gave up for the month of January was social media. I didn’t set out to give it up indefinitely; my intentions were to hit reset on my scrolling habits and push pause on the over-consumption that inevitably leads to comparison and anxiety.

But here I am 150+ days into my 31-day fast, still basking in the freedom I feel from taking the pressure off altogether.

That’s not to say there aren’t aspects I haven’t missed: getting regular peeks into the lives of our friends + family halfway across the country, sharing life updates I know my grandmother looks forward to, memorializing sweet + simple moments via reels. And it’s also not to say that I have been completely offline all this time, either. After January ended, I gladly welcomed Pinterest back into my life, and occasionally, I will check FB Marketplace for a good deal.

But if you were to ask me what I’ve gained simply by hopping off the gram for the past few months, I’d respond with…let me tell you a little bit about life offline lately—

Rising early to soak up The Word, warm lemon water on my nightstand, and regular sunrise-watching on the yellow velvet chair on our front porch. Morning runs through the neighborhood, memorizing scripture with dear friends, weekly dates with Matt, watching the sunset together on the street after tucking kids into bed. Toddler temper tantrums, homeschool lessons, Friday Sabbaths, family movie night, life group, co-leading a young adults’ ministry alongside my husband, parenting podcasts, utter exhaustion, acquiring a taste for green tea (because antioxidants)…

Since January, we have bought chicks (which have since grown into adorably awkward teenage chickens), taken a family trip to Cozumel, I’m still writing for Wild + Free, spoke on anxiety at our church’s women’s conference, (battled anxiety in preparation), completed Cyrus’s 4th + River’s kindergarten year, battled allergies, had our broken a/c fixed, had our broken washing machine fixed, (made a sizable dent in our home repairs budget)…

Instead of scrolling, I’ve fought for healthier outlets when I need to unwind, taking up Sudoku, learning from my Nana how to embroidery, water coloring, checking books out at the library, and deep-diving into next year’s homeschool curriculum.

I still battle low-grade anxiety from time to time. I’m still on my phone a little more than I’d like. I still regularly feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, parenting three young kiddos while Matt is at work during the day. But I look back on these months, and I am so grateful for the gift of learning new things, of breaking bad habits and introducing healthier rhythms. I’m grateful that the changes have been subtle, reminding myself moving forward that I don’t need to change everything all at once. Maybe today, just remember to take my vitamins and drink a cup of green tea. Put my phone down and look into my boys’ eyes when they are telling me a story in what feels like real time.

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We’ve been talking about the fruits of the spirit in our YA group, and the line Matt keeps coming back to is — what you feed grows.

It’s caused me to pause on more than one occasion and ask myself what I am feeding. When I’m stressed and irritable, what seeds have I planted to produce that outcome? And when the days stretch out and I’m feeling particularly limited in what I have to offer my husband and my kids, what needs watering in my life?

The reason I am even sitting here now, writing these words, is because Matt came home from work, insisting I take some time for myself to write and refuel. Bless him.

So if you’re wondering where I’ve been, it’s here. Tired. Grateful. Still fighting for a slower pace, thinking a little bit more intentionally about what seeds I’m planting these days.

Life Offline